Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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