Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
