sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
