didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
