thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
