I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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