Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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