i was born a porn star she said
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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