I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
