I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
