If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
