She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
