I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
