Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
