Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
