Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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