come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
