Just took my morning after pill in the library
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize