It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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