also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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