New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
