You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
