No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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