she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
