My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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