okay pat passed out under dana's car
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
