the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
