So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
