What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
