So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
