At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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