we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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