okay pat passed out under dana's car
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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