It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
