It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
