What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
