I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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