Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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