Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize