You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
