you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
