I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
