i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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