Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
