it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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