fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
