i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
