Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
