Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
