so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Of course I have a pirate flag
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
