tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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