I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize