I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
