I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
