did you get engaged???
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
