I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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