Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
