Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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