i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
