i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
