When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Watching her eat just hurts me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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