PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize