he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
